It’s a bit like life when you think about it. Instead of shedding that which no longer serves any real purpose, we doggedly hang onto experiences and emotional “stuff” which should have been thrown out long ago.

The same applies to our activity as musicians too. How often do you change your practice routine or explore new core repertoire and when was the last time you sat down to play for the sheer joy of it rather than preparing for yet another audition or performance?

At the end of September I found myself sitting surrounded by the same brown boxes and suitcases that I last spoke about less than two years ago. The Harrington-Vandeville family was preparing to hit the road yet again somewhat sooner than expected.

This time though, the booked removal van was far more “compact and bijou”!

Decluttering

As it happened, torrential rain of monsoon proportions hit Málaga province early on R-day the result of which meant a long weekend sitting in a practically empty house.

By then we owned no furniture apart from a couple of cheap ageing sofas – our concession to the fact that the cats tend to eventually rip them to shreds regardless of quality so we buy fairly frequently!

Our huge wardrobe was sold and with it went all my redundant business suits – a fast fading memory from a completely different life. Anything that I hadn’t worn over the last year was donated to a local animal charity.

The very oversized bed, which once represented all we aspired to 15 years ago but no longer, was sold at a give-away price to a couple who had lost everything in the recent Málaga wildfires.

Gone was the solid and dependable kitchen table where we used to host dinner parties. In its place stood a more recent purchase, a second hand bike called Rosa.

Gazing up to where our extensive collection of books and CDs used to live, only 20 volumes and half a dozen double CDs remained.

Mercifully, we still had an internet connection – no TV though! – so you can imagine the eerie echo that reverberated with every click of my laptop keyboard.

Almost everything that materially represented who we were was no longer part of us. What was left was neatly packaged up in bubble wrap and cardboard.

Ahead lay a loose plan but how it’ll play out is largely a mystery and that’s ok.

All we know right now is that just as the world both generally and musically is radically changing so will we.

With all of us facing so much uncertainty these days, the trick to thriving in the current environment is stop hankering after that which was but no longer serves a purpose, accept what is and avoid attaching yourself to specific outcomes

Setting Ourselves Free

I’ll be honest – all the decluttering was an emotional wrench. Every item that I watched walk out the door or taken myself symbolized a period of time and memories.

On the other hand, I do feel strangely psychologically lighter somehow – almost relieved.

So why do this now? We’d finally reached the stage when we wanted to be truly free – a decision I took with my music when I came back into the profession in 2008. It just took longer to permeate into my personal life!

• free to travel and embrace opportunities to grow professionally and personally without having to answer to anybody but ourselves – to go where we feel creatively led without feeling driven purely by the commercial
• free of being so tied to governments, systems and societal expectations
• free of the concern as to whether or not we’ll have any resources to actually live once we’ve met our basic monthly outgoings
• free to pursue a healthier existence where we’re not totally dependent on supermarket chains for our food supplies, chlorine treated water or energy companies

Money offers freedom of course but to my mind the answer doesn’t lie in increased consumerism, building up debt or sacrificing a lifestyle to work longer hours as a means of proving economic success to everybody else.

Downshifting is the alternative and that’s the journey the Spousette and I have embarked upon.

Getting Down to Business

On the career front, nothing has really changed for now. The same three main elements remain :

1. the music with my performing focus on local small group chamber music and the ongoing project Classical Music Connects
2. the re-launch of Zero 2 Maestro with it’s mission of providing tools and resources to equip any musician to earn a decent living as a freelancer
3. international tax trouble shooting for modern day nomads

As an addition now though, I’ll be on a steep learning curve in self-sufficiency building up the skills that that my grandparents took for granted but may well come in very useful in the days ahead.

Fortunately I’m very pragmatic and will try my hand at anything. Only yesterday I repaired a chain-linked fence, I’ve started clearing the land for cultivation and there’s a lot of reading going on in between novels on how to raise chickens  Having spent most of my working life indoors, I’m really looking forward to spending more time outside.

And how will I find time for this? Scheduled sessions with consistency and discipline – something music taught me.

Less can be better than more so what’s stopping you from downshifting, decluttering and being free to be who you really are?

Reading through the contents of her latest dispatch I was honoured to learn that she’d nominated me to receive a “Very Inspiring Blogger Award” which is given to people who contribute to “keeping the blogosphere a beautiful place”.

I have to admit that being publicly acknowledged by another musician is far more valuable to me than being placed highly by any social media ranking engine!

Our peers can either be our worst critics or staunchest allies so I count myself extremely fortunate to have Erica as one of my most loyal cheerleaders. It’s so encouraging when people like her take the trouble to let you know they appreciate what you write.

Erica – thank you so much for including me on your list which you featured on Beyond the Notes.

As part of accepting the award, I’m required to produce a listing of my own. Yikes! Am I only allowed to nominate 10 people?

As most of my reading these days is online and I read a lot on a diverse range of subjects let me tell you, this initially seemed an impossible task but somehow after a lot of head scratching I finally managed to draw up what I hope represents the posts I most eagerly await dropping into my inbox or appearing in my subscriptions on Google Reader.

Mazza’s Very Inspiring Blogger Award List Nominations

In completely random order:

Alexis del Palazzo

I’ve had the pleasure of watching this talented flutist grow from her first tentative Tweets to one of the most followed classical music bloggers in cyberspace coupled with an exponential growth of courage and conviction in living her own truth. Truly wonderful to witness!

Drawing on her own experiences Alexis inspires and motivates those of us who are ordinary working musicians and I was really thrilled when a few months ago she agreed to be my JV partner on the upcoming Zero 2 Maestro site.

Quiet and thoughtful she’s the perfect foil to my often drama queen alter-ego and a very necessary grounding influence in this venture.

Lea Woodward

If I had to name just one person who has influenced me the most since I first came online back in 2008, I wouldn’t hesitate in saying that it has to be Lea. She persuaded me that it would be a complete waste of experience to turn my back on the business world and actively encouraged me to draw on it both within the context of a music career and without.

A passion for the empowerment of others is what we have in common but she is the maestra of the art of reinvention. Her blog is a never ending stream of thoughts, information, articles and practical help for everybody – especially women – who are looking to succeed in building an online presence.

Jackie Walker

This woman has the wisdom of seven which isn’t surprising once you learn there’s very little she hasn’t been through herself!

I’ve been on the receiving end of her straight talking style a few times and speaking as somebody who regularly goes through patches of serious self-doubt – doesn’t every musician? – her writing is enlightening.

Greg Sandow

Heading up discussions on the future of classical music, from the first day I came across Greg’s blog I breathed a sigh of relief. My seemingly mad ideas – which had only drawn stares of incomprehension in the 1980s – perhaps weren’t so insane after all.

I have a lot of respect for people who have the courage to stick their heads above the mainstream and be prepared to defend their views so eloquently against the inevitable naysayers but Greg does more than this.

Through his own ongoing career evolution he inspires you to take action starting with yourself and that is something really special.

Seth Godwin

Daily bite sized motivational and head scratching thoughts almost daily – that’s how I’d describe Seth!

If you’re looking for a place to get your creative juices flowing, this is a good place to start.

Craig Morton

If you’re finding the current changes on the classical music scene tough Craig’s your man!

Drawn in by his own personal story, I’ve been avidly reading this blog from the first week it was published.

What fascinates me is how many parallels there are between the disciplines exercised in being a musician and managing your own personal responses to change.

Jessica Maybury

Where do I start with this character?! Writing, classical piano playing and procrastination is the billing on Jessica’s blog and that strap-line neatly sums her up.

Perfect Fourth will have you crying one minute and laughing the next – an education and entertainment rolled into one. Oh – and don’t miss the adventures of Äinehog and Snissica on her Facebook profile

Joanna Paterson

Words, poetry and inspiring photos of flowers that create a haven from the storms of life. I visit often, just to breathe and be still.

Emily Wright

Artistic ability with stick figures aside, I often find I’m on the same page as Emily the Stark Raving Cellist.

Her blog is a quirky up close and personal look at what’s happening with her and I like the fact that whenever you drop by you’re never quite sure what you’ll find!

Jade Simmons

If this sassy pianist doesn’t end up as the Oprah of classical music at some point I’ll be very surprised!

Choose between the Emerge Already blog featuring tips to lesson the plight of the aspiring concert artist or Stalking Superwoman – a behind the scenes look at Jade as she continues debunking the myth of the overnight success story.

Mazza’s ‘Strange But True’ Facts

The rules of the Award acceptance also require me to give you 7 facts about myself that you probably don’t know already…

• I’m much more competent at making French sauces and cooking perfect rice every time than the Spousette.
• I haven’t had a bath since 1996 when I left the UK and discovered showers
• Rotating a series of 4, 1 clarinet reed usually holds good for a minimum 20 hours playing time
• I was once married to a chartered accountant
• Over my desk I have 3 reminders which helps me prioritise activities every day: closest to cash, next cheque, new opportunities
• I’m a very hard user of toothbrushes and have to change mine every 4 weeks
• I still use a paper and pencil diary. It’s a Dodo Pad actually *ahem* I’m longing for the day when Dodo Towers produces a  musicians version – Lord Dodo please note!

For Those Who I’ve Nominated…

If you have time to play this game, this is what you have to do:

• Link back to me – the person who nominated you
• Post the award image on your page
• Tell seven facts about yourself
• Nominate 10 other blogs
• Let them know they are nominated

This was fun and a lovely way to plug the people who continue consistently continue to inspire me week in, week out! Many thanks to every one of you!

When you almost have it in the palm of your hand, sometimes what you think you really want turns out to be not how you imagined at all

As a kid, when adults questioned me as what I wanted to do when I grew up I always said “a star”! It became a family joke and deeply ingrained from an early age, I held onto that belief for most of my working life whatever I chose to do at any given time.

It was A-lister status or nothing as far as I was concerned and the result was an unbending rigidness in a futile attempt to control the outcome of absolutely all I did. I simply couldn’t let go and just be myself so most of the time I was completely incapable of being spontaneous.

It’s only over the last 6 months since my embouchure collapsed and being temporarily relegated to the performing sidelines that I’ve come to terms with the fact that continuing to actively pursue solo work is not what fires me up eager to get going in the mornings or where my real musical passions currently lie.

Work with Who You Really Are and What You’ve Got Now

Psychologically, however much I try and intellectually analyse my way out of it, due to one poor performance at the the back end of last year coupled with the abortive Málaga event in February, I’ve ended up with a performance anxiety problem which I remarked in a post at the time hadn’t existed before.

“Do I want to spend time and resources dealing with this at nearly 50 in the pursuit of a goal that dates from your 20s?”, I’ve been questioning lately. The answer is no.

Maybe I’ve been kidding myself all along but if I’m brutally honest with myself, while I enjoy opportunities to have all the attention focused on me – it’s that child “seeking approval” again *sigh* – I loathe the pressure.

While great for massaging my ego, solo work doesn’t fit into my collaboration, community, connection mindset either. It’s lonely too and I recognise now that I’m far more people orientated than I thought.

Short Term Fix or Long Term Satisfaction?

As I’ve worked behind the scenes on Zero 2 Maestro and reflected on my continued enthusiasm for Classical Music Connects, I’ve found I’ve got far more satisfaction out of working alongside people – collectively making things happen – and empowering others as opposed operating completely under on my own stream.

And, if we’re talking about contributing to making a difference and homing in on our strengths, shouldn’t that involve moving away from a focus on self to include peers as well as audience?

Trios, Quartets and Quintets

Gigging with other people – chamber music – is something that I’ve never really explored in depth before and seems to be a much neater match with my current values. It feels emotionally more comfortable too even though realistically I know that there’s no such thing as being able to “hide” in group music making.

Moving classical music out of the concert hall into local bars and shopping malls is something I’m actively organising for the new season although it’s been on my mind for a very long time. Surely it has to be easier on a practical level if I wasn’t restricted to places which had a decent piano or continue vainly seeking out a like minded collaborative pianist?

Then there’s the aspect of bringing classical music to the people on their own turf as opposed to them coming to us.

Pause for Thought

However emotionally tough some life and career lessons can be, I truly believe that every situation and circumstance that we work through is ultimately for our benefit. Without experiences and challenges there wouldn’t be any need to grow as human beings or mature in our music making.

If work to you consistently feels like a chore and you’ve lost enjoyment maybe you’re pursuing a path that isn’t right for you?

Blocks and delays happen for a reason. The key is asking lots of questions and identifying whether you’re to push through regardless or take a different fork in the road.

What you must have though is the courage to change

Any Repertoire Suggestions?

Over the past few months I’ve been looking at the Mozart, Brahms and Weber quintets. I’m also on the lookout for fun, lighter pieces that’ll raise a smile so if anybody can make some suggestions for clarinet and strings, please leave a comment. Thanks!

After half drowning my way through some extremely tempestuous waters over the years, to be honest I’m a little surprised that I’m still shuffling around this mortal coil but here I am and extremely grateful!

I’ve been involved in some interesting discussions recently in the social media and those, coupled with the impending birthday, has caused me to reflect and consider my own worldview as well as personal values.

Each One of Us Has The Power to Influence

We are all influenced by others so I’m not even going to start to claim that the list I’ve compiled below is unique to me in every respect.

Having been privileged to have crossed paths with so many amazing people over the years, if you recognise a particular phrase that resonates with the sort of thing that you say yourself or write about, please take its inclusion as a big compliment.

What I can tell you is what you read here came straight out of my head and plays a significant role in how I approach this great adventure we call life.

Mazza’s Manual

Before you blindly accept what you’re told, ask yourself if it sits comfortably with your conscience; whether it feels ethical, moral and just.

Staying healthy, fit and paying attention to the quality of your food is more important in the long term than being obsessed with numbers on a scale. 

Love nearly always eludes you when you’re looking for it.

It’s not how other people view you that predicts the outcome of your career success but how you view yourself. 

Never cast aside those who have supported you when you first started out on your own and throughout your development, inspiring and mentoring you along the way. You wouldn’t be where you are without them.

One of the most valuable investments you can make in yourself is spending time early on to discover your real purpose in life and how best you can use your talents to empower others. 

Governments engineer war to further their own agendas, not a people.

Never make decisions based purely on money or financial reward. 

Be slow to judge. Your idea of perfection is personal to you.

No career is worth the sacrifice of your health, family and quality of life. 

Absolute truth doesn’t exist. How you view life depends on how you interpret experiences.

All religious books throughout the ages hold common threads, words of wisdom and guidance on to how to live. Read them all! Take out that which makes sense and discard that which doesn’t.

Never, ever be tempted to smoke tobacco. It truly is more addictive than heroin.

True democracy and free speech means sometimes having to respectfully listen to views diametrically opposed to your own. 

The majority of people think about doing something. It’s only the relative few that have the courage to take any action.

Consider the possibility that what you accept as “life” is not all that you have been led to believe. 

People may disappoint you but animals never do.

Bad habits are only learned reactions that to break need reprogramming. 

Never stop asking why on anything and everything.

The only way of conquering fear is to do that which you are frightened of.

Individuals change and evolve at different rates and not necessarily at your own pace!

It’s futile to blame your lot in life on external forces. Choice is always present and ultimately we hold full responsibility for where we are at any given moment. How we’ve reacted to situations and decisions we’ve made in the past reflect the now.

Seek to recreate not merely to reproduce.

There is a unique place and a important role in the world for every human being to fulfil however humble it might seem to some people.

Collaboration not competition, connection not individualism, community not self

While I’ve already had heated discussions with some people on the social media, I’ve hesitated in writing about it until I was able to put forward a series of suggestions – a starting point for conversation if you like – to deal with what has become at best utter madness and at worst abuse by some organisations that claim to protect artists.

Here’s the scenario: every single time I post a video of myself playing the clarinet – sometimes not too well either! – I’m flagged by some anonymous performance rights body who’s claiming I breached their copyright.

We’re talking about composers who are long since dead and form part of the core clarinet repertoire. Ironically, music by the only living composer to date that I’ve recorded remains ironically untouched. Quite clearly something isn’t working.

And I know very well via numerous contacts worldwide in the social media that I’m not the only one.

You Couldn’t Make It Up!

If you think I’m exaggerating, take a look at Copyright Kings Are Judge, Jury and Executioner on You Tube – a video and informative article with some disturbing information in regards to fraud which highlights how completely ridiculous performance right copyright has become.

Copyright issues have now become so complex that even a congressman and the most blatant pro-ACTA campaign so far have fallen foul of the law this year.

Art Mirrors Life

Off the top of my head…I would say that it’s only legal specialists whose fees would make your eyes water and large performing rights organisations with whom you may or may not be interested in working who are the prime beneficiaries of the current regulations.

I’m sure you can think of a few more although compared to the actual number of practicing musicians out there who want to share their work, the numbers are tiny in comparison.

As the gap between the “haves” and the “have nots” in society continues to widen, many aspects of the so called civilised systems around which we’re used organising our lives – looking at the arguments at both extremes - seem to be set up with the same sort of agenda.

It’s got nothing to do with the protection and empowerment of the vast majority that’s for sure and is far more about creating a rigid box in which the rest of us are expected to cower in fear and complicity to the few.

Where I Stand

I don’t buy the argument from some contemporary composers that performing rights bodies are the only ones to safeguard receipt of their royalties. There is always more than one solution to a problem and besides, if we find it’s difficult to work with you, we’ll go elsewhere.

Neither do I agree that ideas common to a particular subject or even a mindset can be copyrighted especially in a relatively narrow field like classical music.

Put any group of musicians together and you’ll come up with similar pain points, ways of practicing, techniques, core repertoire for single instruments, etc., so who’s to say anybody should have the monopoly on their particular performance or their way of doing things on one subject which statistically within the niche is likely to be a shared concern?

Speaking from personal experience and also in chatting with my peers across continents it appears some academics from a diverse number of disciplines seem to be particularly prone to jump on any blogger who happens to be able to write and structure properly purely on the strength of a computer algorithm.

It’s clear then that this insidious cancer is not only limited to music.

A Few Suggestions to Get You Thinking

I don’t know how you feel but I’ve had enough of these over-sized egos and effective monopolies.

I can only speak as a performer. I’m not a lawyer, copyright expert or composer so no doubt some will see my proposals at best naïve and at worst the ramblings of some foil helmeted conspiracy theorist. That’s ok – but a new conversation has to start somewhere.

I speak as I find and I’m buggered if I’m going to be forced to learn over-complicated performing copyright law 101 just because I happen to be a musician.

You Tube

Stop using Content ID as means of flagging videos. This would take the onus off the uploader – presuming them to be guilty until they can prove otherwise – and require the copyright holder to issue a proper DMCA (Digital Millenium Copyright Act Claim)

In a nutshell you are guilty until you can whisk up a good enough argument to prove your innocence via a counter-claim system which is worded in such a way to strike fear into the most courageous of hearts although frankly, once you’ve realised that – goodness me I’ve completed so many of them now! – the modus operandi of the system becomes almost laughable.

The power is effectively in the hands of the organisations and at least one of these can remove videos and/or sound whenever they feel like it without going through You Tube channels.

Does this seem fair and just to you? Me neither.

Contemporary Composers

How about taking ultimate responsibility for how, where and to whom you sell your scores – a bit like the CEO of company? Hell, even the big boss of Barclays had to resign over the LIBOR scandal!

An increasing number of performers already organising their own gigs which often involves logistical and organisational skills and taking an equal roll in publicity along with the venue. Why should you be so different?

It should be relatively easy to set up adequate technology to track the use of your music leaving you in control.

The fewer middle men that exist between you, your music and the world, the more likely it would be for your creations to be performed and you’d end up with more money in your own pocket.

Make it easier for us to pay you performance royalties direct without the need to jump through expensive hoops. We’re happy to remunerate the creator a reasonable fee but not the steep amounts often demanded by third parties especially what us non A-listers take home.

The vast majority of people who want to support you are honest. Please don’t assume we’re all out to rip you off.

Publishers

I don’t use photocopies unless it’s an out of print edition I particularly want to use. I always buy or hire a properly printed score. Why then, should I have to pay you extra when I perform certain works that you happen to have printed? Or why should I dispense with your score and use another when I post a video on You Tube just to be sure I’m not flagged?

I often use several editions of pieces when I’m figuring out my own interpretation so who’s to dictate which one I use for performance especially when it’s covered with pencil mark revisions of my own.

The same applies to composers who are no longer with us. Why should I have to pay royalties to heirs who have never written a note and what is it with all this nonsense of having to wait 75 years (depending on the country)?

Charge us a little more when we purchase if you must or levy a fee when a score is hired but above all please encourage us to keep music alive, not disempower us.

So What would you do?

Are you happy with the status quo or have you been through the same type of hassle and are as fed up as me?

If you have a meaningful contribution to make to this discussion don’t be shy!

I’m most interested in hearing from people who have new ideas for a better system of performance copyright law so if that’s the case, I and everybody else would appreciate you leaving a comment.

Imagine this for one moment: what would happen if a large enough group of people decided one day that they simply weren’t going to support a system they didn’t agree with and set up their own or moved over to one was ethical and just?

As for me…well, when a can grab a quiet hour or so, I’m off seriously explore Vimeo and some other alternatives.